How to Tell Your Partner
It can surely be quite embarrassing to tell a partner that you have herpes. Most people feel unsure and hesitant about breaking the news of their infection for fear of losing the relationship. However, if you pick the right time and break the news in the right manner, there are better chances of the relationship working out.
Be Casual and Matter of Fact about the News
When breaking the news, try not to create a panic mood, but rather try to be casual and matter of fact about the news. You can begin by informing your partner that you have herpes and also ask her if she has any idea what it means. You must be well prepared with the facts and present them in the correct manner.
Be Well Prepared
Before heading over to tell your partner about your infection, you need to find out all the information you can, about the condition. You should be prepared to answer all the questions that your partner might pose and be able to set right the doubts she has. You can begin by telling your partner that it is quite a common condition, by providing the information that one in five people get genital sores now and then. You can also tell your partner that in some cases the symptoms are so mild that they are not even noticeable.
Choose the Words Correctly
Choose your words correctly while breaking the news. Try avoiding the words disease and STD and don’t add adjectives like incurable, lifetime and so on. Apart from the right wordings, you should also break the news at the right time and the right setting. See that the two of you are in a relaxed mood where others will not disturb you. You can break it over a quiet and relaxed dinner at home or during a walk in the park or on the beach, and surely not in a restaurant or in a supermarket. Allow the topic to come up very naturally in the conversation, so that it doesn’t seem like a bombshell. You can make a casual statement like, ‘Hey, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. My doctor just confirmed some test results and it seems I have this virus that leads to herpes’.
Allow Partner Time Alone to Think it Over
No matter how casually you break the news it is still possible that your partner might react in a frenzied manner. If this happens, allow him or her some time alone to think it over. You can have the discussion later and put forth your views on how you can continue to happily go on with your relationship. If the relationship is really valuable to your partner, you both will be able to face the challenge together and will get through the problem without breaking up.